Fr. Richard Rohr here suggests a practice for allowing to “die” those parts of our false, passing selves whose time has passed: At the end of [World War II], some Japanese communities had the wisdom to understand that many of their . . . . veterans’ only identity for their formative years had been as a “loyal soldier” to their country, but now they needed a broader identity. So the communities created a ceremony . . . . After the soldier had been profusely honored, an elder would stand and announce with authority: “The war is now over! The community needs you to let go of what has served you and us well up to now. We now need you to return as a parent, a partner, a friend, a mentor—something beyond a soldier.” I call this process “discharging your loyal soldier” . . . . With tenderness, notice how at various times in your life you’ve fixated on different priorities, different measures of right and wrong, different sources of meaning and belonging. Give thanks for the lessons you learned at each phase that helped you survive, succeed, and become who you are today. Ask yourself what beliefs you may be ready to lay to rest, ways of thinking and acting that no longer serve your maturing awareness of reality. You might wish to explore your journey in one or more of these ways:
Journal or write a poem.
Draw, paint, sculpt, or create a collage.
Find a piece of music that illustrates changing moods and move to it.
Talk to a friend, spiritual director, or therapist.
Design a simple ceremony to discharge your “loyal soldier.”